There's a show people kept recommending to me before we had Jacob, called 'The Longest Shortest Time'. Besides it indeed being a great podcast for parents, the title is also very apt - especially of those first days, weeks, and months with a newborn.
With a small baby, somehow you're incredibly busy all day keeping this little being alive and well (take a pick between breakfast or showering before noon, you can't have both even though you've been up since 6 am), yet you do 'nothing' for long stretches of time as well. Whole chunks of the night, staring in silence at your baby's suckling lips, his fat little face, eyes closed. The endless rocking, and patting on the back to get him to burp (victory!). The many diapers you change and how you actually become incredibly interested in its contents (apologies for judging you before, friends with kids). Days and nights seem to linger on and on, and sleep often far away, yet somehow then he's a month older and has gained 2 kilos. It's strange, absolutely beautiful, and utterly exhausting, these early days. Below some journal pages on our little man's birth and the first weeks afterwards. Just a few drawings, but I'm proud to have managed to do them at least.
Jacob was born by 'elective' caesarian (backstory here) and although some women who have gone through this seem to feel like they 'failed' in some way, I honestly thought it was a wonderful experience. Having been in and out of the hospital often as a child, I don't have a dislike for hospitals or even surgery, and the whole affair was quite chilled. I walked into 'theatre', got a spinal block set up (meh), lied down while waiting for the numbness to set in, and not ten minutes later I was handed my beautiful baby boy. The doctors and nurses were nice and professional, I was comfortable throughout the procedure and afterwards, and was I able to go home swiftly and without complications. I do wish I had had at least one contraction (just out of curiosity), and I definitely hope to have our next child the 'natural' way (mostly for their sake!), but above all it was still the most wonderful day of my life despite it not being how we had originally envisoned it. I feel incredibly grateful for being able to meet our healthy baby boy in such a calm setting (they even played music!) and not bleeding to death (you know). Yay, modern medicine!