I haven’t been feeling my usual chipper self lately. It may be (and probably is) the completely lack of sleep or sunshine, or perhaps the realization that our London chapter is definitely behind us now (I can be a bit slow that way)… but this winter is bringing me down.

And so, alongside eating well and taking my vitamins, I’ve returned to my favorite therapist: journaling. I never stopped, but I had lost a certain habit. And so here they are: all of my journal pages whining about how hard my life is. Enjoy ;-)

This time, Ellen and I (who is definitely my inspiration in all things on location sketching) joined the Utrecht chapter of Urban Sketchers. I was a bit late, so most good seats had been taken. I ended up sketching the most boring part of the courtyard, but then switched it up by sketching my beautiful friend. It was cold, though, so by the end of it I had very little feeling left in my hands (or butt), but felt reinvigorated.

This summer we traveled to the Provence in France with the whole family. Inspired by Van Gogh, Cézanne, and Picasso, who all lived around the area at one point, I decided to draw more on location and from life. Because my parents and aunt joined us, we had babysitting, and this actually worked out. Also, our eldest developed a fountain obsession.m, so we just had to make sure we found a cafe located near a fountain, and we’d bought ourselves a solid two hours while he played around in the water and French pigeon poop. Score.

It would have been easy to cancel. With temperatures reaching nearly 40 degrees Celsius, it wasn’t necessarily the best day to spend all day outside drawing in the sunshine. Yet that is what my dear friend Ellen Vesters and I did when we joined our Sketchbook Skool buddies for the Urban Sketchers Sketch Walk yesterday. I managed to do two sketches that I didn’t like at first, but now feel pretty ok about.

We went ‘glamping’ on Camping Bakkum earlier this month. It was still quite chilly, but we enjoyed one nice beach day, and spent the rest of the time walking around and enjoying nature and eating French fries and fish.

Before we moved back to Holland, I made a series of drawings of our favorite places in Dalston, Hackney, our neighborhood in London. It provided a nice ritual in saying goodbye.

Sketchbook tour of my illustrated journal from November 2017 until August 2018, which documents my pregnancy of our second child, travels, and move into our new house. I didn't love this sketchbook, as it's a lot smaller than what I usually use and just couldn't get used to it. I personally think this is reflected in the art (not loving it), so I am switching back to my trusted Seawhite of Brighton book after this!

Journal: Daler & Rowney A5 Materials: pencil, watercolor, ink, Tombow and Copic markers Music: 'Picnic on the Roof' - The Whole Other

It's been a long, hot summer. It's officially still summer of course, but as I write this, it's pouring down rain outside and I'm wearing a sweater. Couldn't be happier to be honest. No, all kidding aside, global warming is here (surprise!), and it's been kicking my ass this summer. I usually love hot summers, but being pregnant and living in what constitutes to an airless greenhouse (yay for old refurbished factory windows that don't open) is less than ideal.

The last month of journal pages featured below, therefore, is mostly me complaining (in a visual hopefully entertaining way!) about being sweaty and pregnant. Also heartburn. Ugh heartburn is the worst. And on that note, does anyone know anyone at Gaviscon? I'd love to talk about a sponsorship deal, because I've been talking about them on Insta non stop, but I've also been paying for those bottles of anise-puke-flavored relief and that doesn't feel right.

So anyways: enjoy, if you enjoy those sorts of stories!

It’s been a special summer so far in many ways. I’m pregnant in the middle of the longest heatwave imaginable. Our little boy is starting to speak. In English. I self published my summer travel journal (and it’s selling so well! Thank you guys!). And, I finally signed up for the Children’s Book Illustration summer school course in Cambridge. 

Ever since my good friend Ellen Vesters went (and subsequently got accepted into the MA), I’ve been wanting to go. There was always a good reason not to do it though. Too expensive. Too busy. A small baby. I figured with a second little dude on the way, it would be now or, well not never, but not for a while. So I closed my eyes, filled out my credit card details (I am pretty talented like that), and signed up.

Anglia Ruskin University. Our studios were on the top floor with the big windows. 

What is the course? 

It’s a week long intensive summer school at Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge (UK) focused on getting you from a story idea, to a completed (but still rough!) dummy of a children’s picture book. There’s an introduction to the history of picture books, lectures on character development, story structure, the interplay between text and image, and a glimpse into the world of publishing and illustration agents. And while you don’t really learn any drawing skills, you do draw a LOT. Pretty much all day. During studio time, the talented team of teachers/illustrators (Pam Smy, Ness Wood, Marta Altés, Dave Barrow, and Birgitta Sif) walk around the room and do 1:1 coaching sessions to help you along in your process. Plus, we got to browse their sketchbooks. Below are a few pictures I took of the sketchbooks of Pam Smy (1-3), Marta Altes, and Dave Barrow. I KNOW RIGHT?

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

The ‘class’ was about 70 people from all ages, backgrounds, and countries. And while that’s a bit too big of a group to get to know everyone, I did end up hanging out with a lovely and very supportive group of artists all week. It’s so special to meet others who are really into illustration and children’s books and just nerd out together, give advice, and fawn over all of their skill and talent. 

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

Things I am taking away from this week:

• I am impatient (not a surprise) and like to finish things. However, my work really does improve if I practice practice and practice more and push through this uncomfortable feeling of butIfdon’twanna. Practice makes perfect. Or at least a bit better. Annoying, but true. 
• I hadn’t taken any proper art classes since high school, and I was really craving feedback - more so than I realized. One of the (many) reasons I didn’t go to art school after high school is that my teacher used to just give me straight A’s without looking at my work. I didn’t feel like art challenged me and I wanted to study something that’d be ‘hard’ for me - instead of freeloading off of my supposed ’talent’. Of course, I now know that this was a silly assumption, but at the time I’d only had 18 years of people telling me I was the best.
• So guess what, drawing all day is challenging and necessary (see point 1). It’s also really really fun. Weird enough, drawing all day was new to me as well, and beforehand I did wonder how I’d feel about focusing on drawing for an entire week. Right now, drawing happens in all the little cracks of time I can find. Toddler nap times, evenings, stolen hours during weekends or vacations. The occasional day off. So who knows? Perhaps I’d be bored by drawing so much, and bored by focusing on one project all week. Fortunately that didn’t turn out to be the case - I absolutely loved the break from ‘reality’ and being fully immersed in a project.
• Edit edit edit. I’ve looked at my story a thousand times now, had it critiqued, changed it, changed it again, and so on and so forth. The story still needs more work, even though the idea for the story is pretty simple. You really cannot be precious about your ideas and work. 
• A week is insanely little time to produce a picture book dummy. People take months, years, to do this properly. So this course really was only the beginning.  
• I can rely on my sketches and my shapes more, and less on (inked) line work. It can still be powerful and clean. I don’t have to settle for a ‘style’ - there’s more room to improve and develop.  
• I am too old for student housing, and too pregnant for student housing on the top floor in the middle of summer without windows that open. It was lovely staying on campus as it made for lots of socializing time with the other students, but I fully expected to die from heatstroke up in that room (spoiler: I didn’t). 
• I cannot be left alone in a room full of beautiful children's books for sale...

Just *part* of my purchases for the week.

Would I recommend it?

Yes, absolutely (apart from the student housing)! Of course, you need to be interested in children’s books, feel relatively comfortable with your drawing style, ready to work on a story for a week, and open to meeting new people. I am incredibly glad I went, and have been itching to get back to work on my story - which I’ll tell you all about in an upcoming post!

This summer my husband, son, and my very pregnant self spent two weeks in the beautiful Périgord area in France. The travel journal I kept whilst staying there will be coming out as a zine and is now available for pre-order! Yay!

The zine contains drawings and writings on what we did, ate, saw, and thought while on our beautiful summer holiday.

PLEASE NOTE: This zine is now available for pre-order. I will send out your order on July 30th, 2018 at the latest (probably sooner) from the UK. Please allow for shipping time as well, depending on where you live.

Pregnancy is such a special time. You're huge, you can't eat the foods you like, you don't really sleep, your back hurts, your ankles are the size of tree trunks.

Nah, I kid, I kid, it's marvelous of course (ok not all of it, but most of it). It's so special to carry a little wiggly human being in your belly - it's a time so full of promise and hope. A new person is being created, hidden away for a bit longer, but ready to rock your world completely - show you who they are. Being pregnant is such an honor, being a parent is such an honor, witnessing the change is such an honor. 

Being pregnant is such an honor, being a parent is such an honor, witnessing the change is such an honor. And, well, the hormones help as well. I've been feeling so happy and creative these past few months - which I feel you can really tell from my journal pages. 

A bit of everything in here - travel, feelings, forests, food. Enjoy!

A few months ago I did something totally scary - I stood in front of a camera to film a class for Sketchbook Skool! I am so excited to be teaching in The Whimsical Sketchbook with four other insanely talented artists like Rebecca Green, Mike Lowery, Vanessa Brantley Newton, and Miriam Bos. If you know me only a little bit, you'll know I am seriously hardcore #fangirling over here and still can't believe I am actually part of a project these amazing artists have worked on as well. Like what happened!?
 

What is this course about?

Well, definitely watch the trailer below if you'd like to find out. In this class you'll spend five weeks with five illustrators exploring, aimed at inspiring your creativity by immersing you in the lives and the studios of four artists who use their sketchbooks as incubators of stories, emotions, and vivid new worlds.

You’ll learn by watching the artist sharing their step-by-step process in 12 different demos using everything from gouache, markers, ink, crayons, collage, iPads, colored pencils, watercolors, pastels, and more..

What am I teaching?

Once again, check out the video below. I'll be sharing my personal story - about why I keep an illustrated journal, what it means to me, and how it helps me process my life as I move through it.

I'll also be sharing some of my top tips for keeping your own journal. One of the key things I have learned through these last 10+ years of keeping an illustrated journal is that a good layout can really make your drawings stand out, while also keeping enough space to write about your adventures. In this course I talk about the five layouts I like working with, how I plan out my pages, and share easy hacks you can use no matter what skill level you're at (because honestly, I feel like I am at level 0 most days, so I am all about the hacks!). 

How does it work?

You sign up here, and then klass starts June 18th. For five weeks, you'll work with a different teacher each week, learning from them, and completing assignments. Each artist will also do a webinar at the end of their week to ask them (and thus me!) anything. 

Where do I sign up?

Funny you should ask! Because I've got just the link for you (and please use THIS link, as I get a little bit of ££ when you sign up using my link, which equals to more snacks for the babies and honestly, you'd be a monster if you'd deny my babies snacks, no?):

The first three months of this year have been incredibly turbulent for our little family. We made lots of big life choices -- that resulted in very little change for now.

Big news first: I am pregnant with our second child! Yay! It all went a bit quicker than we'd anticipated, but we're completely over the moon (and terrified). We'll be expecting another little boy end of September - a little brother for Jacob! We can't quite believe it, neither of us (and Jacob doesn't really understand yet). This pregnancy also has been so different than the last one, in so many ways. I few thoughts on that below, but more to come as well.

What else? Well, we decided very suddenly to move a few streets down the road to what must be the cutest place in London. I traveled to the US for work. We spent a long and very rainy weekend in Wales. Two more hospitalisations for Jacob (I don't know if I've ever really written about his neutropenia on this blog, but I probably should - as I'd never even heard of it before Jacob got it and it might be helpful to a few of you out there). Oh, and Jochem shaved his beard. 

Anyways, lots of journal pages and comics below. Enjoy!

It feels like two years have passed by since I last uploaded any journal pages, but in fact it's been closer to four months. I guess this happens when you get older, but I've only really started noticing it after Jacob was born. I think it's not even an illusion, time does pass by faster, as he seems to pick up a new skill or grow a centimeter every week. 

The journal pages below include a (work) trip to Bologna, an incredibly scary hospitalization with Jacob, Jacob's first birthday, life, and then... a much-needed break. I had two weeks off over Christmas, and it didn't come a minute too soon.

Enjoy! Want more? You can find all my journal pages (ever), on my Flickr page, because I am old school like that.

A quick flip through my journal pages from February until November of 2017. This year has been a difficult one as my son fell ill and was (eventually) diagnosed with autoimmune neutropenia, a rare blood disease that fortunately in most cases goes away as he gets older, but still puts a lot of stress on our little family.

In many ways motherhood has been kicking my ass. Sleep deprivation and, well, sleep deprivation and fear, have pushed me past limits I didn’t even know I had. But then, an important lesson is that you do manage, like most parents, and your life is richer for it. 

One department where I have impressed myself by exceeding my own expectations, has been to continue to breastfeed after going back to work. Like most things to do with breastfeeding (or parenthood), I simply  had no idea what I was in for. I thought I would perhaps continue for another month or so, but instead I am still breastfeeding (he is now 13 months old) and have only stopped expressing at the office right before going on my Christmas holidays. Yes, his autoimmune disease influenced my decision, but honestly, I feel like I probably would have continued either way. Breastfeeding worked for us, and thanks to my wonderful employer, expressing at the office also worked after much trial and error on my part. 

If you are pregnant or still on maternity leave and wondering how to combine your (full time) job with breastfeeding your child - here are my top tips. This list is by no means exhaustive (believe me, I could go on about this for literally hours), and also not prescriptive. It is based on my personal experiences and just intended to be helpful, as I wish I had found a list like this a bit earlier on. 

Please do drop any comments, your own experiences, or questions below! Would love to hear your thoughts.

If five weren’t such a nice number, I would have added a number six: make sure you take some time to connect to your baby when you get home from work. Having a cuddle and a quick feed whenever I came home in the evening really helped us to reconnect after a day apart, and helped keep the habit of breastfeeding when I am around alive. 

Good luck! You can do this!

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

They're here, they're here! My limited edition prints.  
Well, they've been here for a while, but you know... baby. 

I went with DStudio here in the UK, after my friend and artist Sabra recommended them, and they turned out really lovely. They're signed and numbered giclée prints on thick, nicely textured, Hahnemühle William Turner 310gsm. 

There's five different prints, only ten prints each and would make a lovely gift for parents-to-be, parents, grandparents, or just to decorate kid's rooms. 

So I've started a YouTube channel! 

I've been meaning to do this for a while, mainly to showcase flipthroughs of my journals, but should I ever find the time I would also love to use it for tutorials and art supply reviews. Really it's all an elaborate scheme to convince myself that the obscene amount of money I spend on art supplies and stationery is totally worth it, but hopefully you'd get something out of it as well.

So, do check out the first seven videos of me flipping through my illustrated journals over here if you should feel so inclined and please let me know what kinds of video's you'd like to see on my channel. I'd love to grow this into a 'thing'!

I don't suffer from low self esteem. However, if you ask me what I am most proud of I would struggle to give you an answer. My thinking has mostly been that you get talent for free, giving it your best is just a minimal requirement, and there is usually a good bit of luck involved in whether you achieve the things you want or not. 

But recently I have found myself wanting to brag. The fact is, Jacob is nearly 11 months old and still breastfed (apart from solids now, of course). Before he was born, I had set myself six months as a goal. When we discovered his neutropenia, I decided to continue to make sure his immune system got all the help it could get. I am proud of sticking it out like this, because as some of you may know, breastfeeding isn't easy. It hurts for the first two months or so, it is exhausting as you're doing all the feeds one way or another, especially during those first few months where all your baby wants to do is clusterfeed (yes this is an actual thing, google it), and it's this weird experience where your boobs and body just aren't yours. It can also be awkward and political. It shouldn't be, but even when you know sitting in a café breastfeeding your infant son is the most natural thing in the world (and secretly wish someone would come up to you to complain so you can yell at them), you're still pretty much out in public with your tits out as your baby is just not focusing. 

Breastfeeding, of course, is also magical and amazing. It is one of the most empowering of experiences to be able to feed your baby with your own body. It is fantastic for your baby and their developing immune system - not just for the first six months, but for the first few years of their lives (read all about that here). It is super convenient once things start to settle down; you never have to mess around with formula or heating bottles on the go. It is a multipurpose soother - many of Jacob's issues were solved by just shoving my boob in his face. And it's so so cosy. Those quiet moments where Jacob and I are just snuggled up together are some of the most precious times in my life. Breastfeeding truly is a miracle and I am so grateful that I am able to this. But it isn't easy.  

Working and trying to continue to fully breastfeed definitely isn't easy, but after a few months I do feel I've gotten the hang of it, tedious as it can get. Last month's challenge was a different ballgame, however. I went on a business trip to New York. Apart from having to miss my daily baby snuggles (and the irrational mommy guilt in the back of my mind saying I probably am emotionally scarring my child for life by going away for four days), this took quite a bit of preparation. I had to make sure I had pumped enough breast milk to last him the week (40 bags of 100 milliliter of milk equals 40 days of one extra pumping session a day). All week long, I had to set my alarm clock at night. and sneak out of meetings during the day to pump and keep up with my feeding schedule at home. Oh and then there was pumping on the plane! Is there some kind of Mile High Club for expressing moms? There should be. 

But I did it. And it was fine. 

Below are my journal entries from that week, including some instructions on how to pump on a plane. Enjoy.