When my American bestie Danielle landed in Barcelona for work, there was no way a two-hour flight was going to keep me from our 22-year intercontinental friendship. So off I went, and what followed were the most incredible 113 hours!
I spent some time sketching on location in a dreamy little courtyard (Antic Teatre), but most of the artwork came together afterward. Adventures like these fuel my joy and creativity for months to come.
Music is 'Blue Night' by Magnus Ringblom via Epidemic Sounds
Short video about last weekend, when we spent some time in my mother's cabin in the woods. I made use of the gorgeous fall weather to do some outside drawing among the trees, and was even joined by one of the little artists for a bit.
Sketchbook is a Clairefontaine A4(ish?) sketchbook, I'm using watercolors, and an assortment of pencils (mostly Caran d'Ache). Music is 'In Place' by King Peaks through Epidemic Sounds.
Work took me to Paris, and I took myself on a little Louvre date, followed by new books and a beverage on a terrace. Only reason I came home l was because I love my children and I wanted to spoil them with overpriced macarons. And maybe because my French is terrible.
All jokes aside, a day like this - but to be honest also the very stunning and fun ‘work’ (is it work when you’re having the best time with some of the best people) I got to do the days prior to this day - just feeds my soul. For weeks. Months. And I cannot believe how lucky I am to live this life of mine. Ok soppy story mode off. Go and have fun, kids. It matters.
I keep planning to do a proper sketchbook tour of our summer holiday in the Provence, France, but we’re now nearly a month into the school year and I think I’ll have to accept it’ll be late no matter what. So here’s some of the more successful sketches.
While I’m happy with the sketches here, it took me a while to get into it. I brought ‘the wrong’ sketchbooks, and only after our trip to Aix-en-Provence where I appropriately bought a new sketchbook, did I really start enjoying it.
We were staying in Cotignac, about an hour drive east from Aix-en-Provence, and one of the cutest little villages in the region. We stayed here a few years ago (different house), and loved it so much, we came back. An unintended consequence of this was that we had the most relaxing vacation ever, as we had zero FOMO about seeing any of the touristic attractions - we’d seen them all last time!
And perhaps as a result of the true relaxation, I didn’t take much video, and I didn’t put any pressure on myself to create. Meaning there’s no real vlog, no video now, but just a few happy snaps and sketches. And maybe that’s the best outcome I could have hoped for.
2022 was… well, it was a year. While I’m usually quite nostalgically inclined, this year I can feel myself reluctant to look back.
Looking back at these sketches, I can sort of understand why. 2022 was a massive year for us. We sold our house, the renovations of our new house properly kicked off and were finished with literal hours to spare before we moved in. Work got insanely busy and then it got even busier. Abel turned four and went off to school. Schools and daycares closed. Kids got sick and sick again. We got sick. There were lockdowns. We got covid. Life continued.
Only very few of these events made it into my sketchbook in a meaningful way. The sketches I liked best and have highlighted below were usually done during weekends or days away, or rare moments of rest. Instead of reflecting on all that was happening in life, in my sketches I focused on recording the moment I was in. Which, let’s be honest, is a good coping mechanism - mindfulness and all that.
I’m now in week 1 of 2 weeks off over the holidays, and enjoying some much needed downtime after the hectic Christmas celebrations with the family. I don’t know if I’ll do much looking back, or even looking forward. I’m enjoying not doing much of anything. I hope you have a restful couple of days off as well, and wishing you a glorious 2023. May the shit show of this world calm down a bit, inshallah.
Sketchbooks (in order of appearance): Sakura A4 sketchbook, Pith A4 sketchbook, Seawhite of Brighton sketchbook (A5 portrait).
Music from Epidemic Sound: 'Postcards from June' and 'Early Bloomer' from Magnus Ludvigsson.
We moved into our forever home (that we spent a year remodeling) last summer, and my office / studio is as good as finished now! I'm just so grateful to have this space, and thought I'd share with you how I've organized and set up the place! This is where I work, paint, create my illustrated journals, and comics!
Fun fact that I forgot to include in the video: the room was designed by the architect to make sure there was exactly enough space for the drawing table! (Meaning our bedroom is a bit smaller, haha)
A special sketchbook this time, as this sketchbook was different in size and paper from the previous ones and somehow this made me feel more free and excited to try new things. I did lots of nature/city drawings, drew lots of people from instagram / observation, and outfits. A little less of the 'day to day', as I guess with every day looking more or less the same (aside from the trips), this was a bit less interesting for me to draw.
Hope you enjoy and also interested to see how the lockdowns/covid life have influenced your sketchbooks!
Materials: Sakura A4 sketchbook, pencil, watercolor (Winsor & Newton), ink, and colored pencil (Caran d'Ache)
Music: 'Pink Sunrise' - The Great North Sound Society
As some of you may know, there was a time when our son Jacob battled a rare blood disease called autoimmune neutropenia. The two years during which he was ill were without a doubt the hardest of our lives. When he got better, all we wanted to do was forget all about it.
Luckily for me, the pandemic served as a helpful trigger for old traumatic memories to resurface. The flashbacks and panic left over from the years led me to try Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. Through questioning my own beliefs and anxieties while looking the waving fingers of my therapist, I found my way back.
I created a comic about my experiences for Drawing the Times, a graphic journalism platform. I’m incredibly proud of this piece, and the responses have been overwhelming. I dug deep for this story, and if it helps only one person to feel less alone, I’ve succeeded.
For as long as I can remember I’ve drawn and painted. In high school, my art teacher even suggested I go to art school for painting, but I decided I needed to show the world I was ‘smart’ rather than just talented and studied art history instead. But I never stopped painting and illustrating. The illustration part, I’m sure you’ve seen (since you’re on this blog and all), but (abstract) painting was something I did privately. For friends, family, myself.
Over the years, I’ve had burst of inspiration - mostly when I’d get a commission. Most of my friends and family have since gotten ‘their’ painting, and when we moved into our new Utrecht home, I decided to paint one for our house as well.
And with Covid/lockdowns/nowhere to go, lately, I’ve been turning towards abstract painting even more.
All this to say - I’ve started a separate instagram for my painting in a bid to make myself feel less guilty for splurging on a shit ton of art supplies and to show a bit more of my work. You can find the account here. I might also post a bit on my painting practice here, if time permits.
No worries, I will still be illustrating and journaling as per usual. This is just to shed some light on something which has quietly been growing in the background, and is now ready to come out. Enjoy!
It’s been a special summer so far in many ways. I’m pregnant in the middle of the longest heatwave imaginable. Our little boy is starting to speak. In English. I self published my summer travel journal (and it’s selling so well! Thank you guys!). And, I finally signed up for the Children’s Book Illustration summer school course in Cambridge.
Ever since my good friend Ellen Vesters went (and subsequently got accepted into the MA), I’ve been wanting to go. There was always a good reason not to do it though. Too expensive. Too busy. A small baby. I figured with a second little dude on the way, it would be now or, well not never, but not for a while. So I closed my eyes, filled out my credit card details (I am pretty talented like that), and signed up.
Anglia Ruskin University. Our studios were on the top floor with the big windows.
It’s a week long intensive summer school at Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge (UK) focused on getting you from a story idea, to a completed (but still rough!) dummy of a children’s picture book. There’s an introduction to the history of picture books, lectures on character development, story structure, the interplay between text and image, and a glimpse into the world of publishing and illustration agents. And while you don’t really learn any drawing skills, you do draw a LOT. Pretty much all day. During studio time, the talented team of teachers/illustrators (Pam Smy, Ness Wood, Marta Altés, Dave Barrow, and Birgitta Sif) walk around the room and do 1:1 coaching sessions to help you along in your process. Plus, we got to browse their sketchbooks. Below are a few pictures I took of the sketchbooks of Pam Smy (1-3), Marta Altes, and Dave Barrow. I KNOW RIGHT?
The ‘class’ was about 70 people from all ages, backgrounds, and countries. And while that’s a bit too big of a group to get to know everyone, I did end up hanging out with a lovely and very supportive group of artists all week. It’s so special to meet others who are really into illustration and children’s books and just nerd out together, give advice, and fawn over all of their skill and talent.
Just *part* of my purchases for the week.
Yes, absolutely (apart from the student housing)! Of course, you need to be interested in children’s books, feel relatively comfortable with your drawing style, ready to work on a story for a week, and open to meeting new people. I am incredibly glad I went, and have been itching to get back to work on my story - which I’ll tell you all about in an upcoming post!
The first three months of this year have been incredibly turbulent for our little family. We made lots of big life choices -- that resulted in very little change for now.
Big news first: I am pregnant with our second child! Yay! It all went a bit quicker than we'd anticipated, but we're completely over the moon (and terrified). We'll be expecting another little boy end of September - a little brother for Jacob! We can't quite believe it, neither of us (and Jacob doesn't really understand yet). This pregnancy also has been so different than the last one, in so many ways. I few thoughts on that below, but more to come as well.
What else? Well, we decided very suddenly to move a few streets down the road to what must be the cutest place in London. I traveled to the US for work. We spent a long and very rainy weekend in Wales. Two more hospitalisations for Jacob (I don't know if I've ever really written about his neutropenia on this blog, but I probably should - as I'd never even heard of it before Jacob got it and it might be helpful to a few of you out there). Oh, and Jochem shaved his beard.
Anyways, lots of journal pages and comics below. Enjoy!
It feels like two years have passed by since I last uploaded any journal pages, but in fact it's been closer to four months. I guess this happens when you get older, but I've only really started noticing it after Jacob was born. I think it's not even an illusion, time does pass by faster, as he seems to pick up a new skill or grow a centimeter every week.
The journal pages below include a (work) trip to Bologna, an incredibly scary hospitalization with Jacob, Jacob's first birthday, life, and then... a much-needed break. I had two weeks off over Christmas, and it didn't come a minute too soon.
Enjoy! Want more? You can find all my journal pages (ever), on my Flickr page, because I am old school like that.
In many ways motherhood has been kicking my ass. Sleep deprivation and, well, sleep deprivation and fear, have pushed me past limits I didn’t even know I had. But then, an important lesson is that you do manage, like most parents, and your life is richer for it.
One department where I have impressed myself by exceeding my own expectations, has been to continue to breastfeed after going back to work. Like most things to do with breastfeeding (or parenthood), I simply had no idea what I was in for. I thought I would perhaps continue for another month or so, but instead I am still breastfeeding (he is now 13 months old) and have only stopped expressing at the office right before going on my Christmas holidays. Yes, his autoimmune disease influenced my decision, but honestly, I feel like I probably would have continued either way. Breastfeeding worked for us, and thanks to my wonderful employer, expressing at the office also worked after much trial and error on my part.
If you are pregnant or still on maternity leave and wondering how to combine your (full time) job with breastfeeding your child - here are my top tips. This list is by no means exhaustive (believe me, I could go on about this for literally hours), and also not prescriptive. It is based on my personal experiences and just intended to be helpful, as I wish I had found a list like this a bit earlier on.
Please do drop any comments, your own experiences, or questions below! Would love to hear your thoughts.
If five weren’t such a nice number, I would have added a number six: make sure you take some time to connect to your baby when you get home from work. Having a cuddle and a quick feed whenever I came home in the evening really helped us to reconnect after a day apart, and helped keep the habit of breastfeeding when I am around alive.
Good luck! You can do this!
Boo! Yes, I'm still here.
You probably thought I was too busy partying and enjoying summer to draw or blog much. And you would be right if by 'partying' you mean 'sitting in a corner crying' and by 'enjoying summer' you mean 'living through this sh*t show of the summer'.
It has taken me a while to get back to blogging and uploading my scans because a) I don't want to complain too much when there's so much trouble in the world today that's way (waaaaay) worse than what we've gone through, but also b) writing it down just brings it all right back, and I fear I've got a slight case of PTSD.
I managed to keep a journal through some of it, though, which you'll find below. Enjoy and do let me know what you did this summer in the comments. For larger versions, please check out my Flickr account (I'm old school like that).
You guys, it's been a lot. These last two and a half months have been 'interesting', even though it started out just fine. I was so nervous for the Big Day - first day of nursery for Jacob, but of course he was a total rockstar. I was a little anxious to start my working life again, but of course it was great fun. And then?
Then Jacob's ear trouble returned. Fortunately, the end was in sight with a planned surgery for the end of May at one of the best children's hospitals in the world. Or so we thought. On the day itself the operation was cancelled as it turned out we had something else to worry about besides the cyst in his ear: low white blood cells, or 'neutropenia' as it is called. Invisible, and therefore, like most things invisible, to me a lot scarier. The update here is that while it's still scary, it does seem like Jacob will be fine. We're awaiting more test results, but in the mean time, anytime our little man has a fever, we need to rush back to the hospital as the low white blood cell count means he can't fight off infections at all and even a little bacterial infection can turn nasty or worse. Not the best, but never in my life have I been more grateful for free health care and above all for the kind, hard working, knowledgable nurses and doctors the NHS employs. They are all saints in my book. As is my mom, who flew out to support me (and cuddle little J) during our last stint at the hospital.
Then at work a series of changes took place that took me by surprise. Things still are very much in flux even now, and although I'm sure things will turn out ok one way or another, like a lot of change, it has been uncomfortable.
Oh and did I mention it seems like London can't seem to catch a break either?
The good news is that the doctors have cleared our ever cheerful little man for travel and so next week, we will be off to Holland for a week to celebrate my brother getting married, as well as Jochem's brother getting married (not to each other, but to two other people we very much like). Better things to come, I am sure. And hopefully the next time the universe is trying to send me a message it'll just WhatsApp me. Seriously, what's with the drama?
Jacob is three months (and eight days) old. It's been almost a year since I became pregnant with him, although I didn't know it yet. I didn't know how lucky we'd be - and although I suspected it, I had no idea how incredible the human body is - how incredible my body is. I am not sure when (if at all) I'll get over the fact that we made this perfect little boy who has become the center of everything. I have never been more grateful for my healthy body that somehow knew how to pull this off.
I've not always had this good a relationship with my body. In high school and college (and to be fair, for a long while after) I was mostly at war with my body. Women's bodies become so very visible after puberty and I did not feel mine was good enough. I did not feel good enough. At that time, the only way I knew how to ease that discomfort was by trying to whip the outside, the visible part, of myself into a less offensive shape. It did not work, of course, but that took me a long time to figure out (and an even longer time to unpack and heal the why, but that's another blog post entirely).
When I became pregnant, a (very naive) part of me had expected I'd temporarily be 'free' from some of the pressures that come with having a female body. A break. I quickly learned that this was an illusion, not only because the pressure to conform to societal norms is partly internal and therefore hard to escape, but also because you are never more visible than when you are pregnant. Your body, as soon as it becomes known and visibly clear that you are with child, almost becomes public property. Everything you eat, drink, and (not) do, is magnified and may be commented upon. Discussing the way you look is to be expected. In some cases (although I didn't experience this myself very much), apparently even touching a pregnant belly is fair game. Even though all of these interactions were positive in my case - it felt odd. Perfect strangers discussing my bump, friends talking about my weight, colleagues asking me after my diet. It was a change. I had left my carefully crafted 'safe zone' (a certain weight, diet, exercise, careless attitude) behind and was having to discuss it by ways of small talk.
As my body heals, I am learning to use my increased love and respect for it to care for it. My life is completely different now that Jacob is here, and it doesn't feel inappropriate for my body to reflect this change. As time goes by, however, it also feels wonderful to slowly start to recognize myself in the mirror again. This balancing act (accepting change versus conserving a bit of your old self) seems to me like the perfect metaphor of motherhood. As is the feeling of having to 'explain' yourself, I guess - and deciding, in the end, that you just need to go with your gut. Mommy gut FTW.
Below some journal pages about all this, some trips we made this month, shingles fun times, and the joys of breastfeeding and having the entire world see my boobs (again, so so visible).
Before we had Jacob, I posted a house tour on this blog, with the promise I would show you what our house looked like after we'd had our son. Click on the link above to see what our house still mostly looks like, apart from the bedroom and an added layer of milk stains. I expect our living room will at one point also turn into Babyland (with a highchair, a playpen, and more toys), but right now we make do with a beautiful handmade blanket and a basket for his rattles and books, and so it's just our bedroom that has changed since this last post.
While I labeled this post 'Nursery Tour', we live in a London-sized one bedroom apartment, so our bedroom = our nursery. To be honest, at this point I wouldn't want it any other way.
We decided (as in my pregnant self nagged Jochem to the point where he was like 'do what you need to do') to go the co-sleeper route. I knew I really wanted to breastfeed and having my baby right there seemed convenient. We chose the Snüzpod 3-in-1 mostly for its looks (isn't it purrdy?), but in theory you can also use it as a bassinet and a standalone crib. We've only ever used it as a co-sleeper thus far and I freaking LOVE this thing. It was easy to set up and you can strap it to your bed at exactly the right height. We of course didn't know I would end up having Jacob via c-section, but I honestly don't know how I would have managed those first weeks of night feedings if he hadn't been so close. Doing a 'sit up' to get out of bed, let alone lifting an infant from a crib was pretty much a no-go, and with the co-sleeper I could just roll him to me and nurse lying down. Pure bliss, my friends.
The adorable monkey toy was made by my close friend Sabra and clouds were made by my friend Debbie - Jacob absolutely adores looking at the cloud's colorful raindrops in the morning. The bedding is from Snüzpod (mattress cover and cloud blanket) and Little Green Sheep (blue organic cotton blanket). The swaddle blanket is from Lodger and was a gift from my mom, as was the musical sheep that hangs from the back of his crib. We usually swaddle Jacob at night, as he tends to move his arms quite a bit and ends up hitting himself in the head and waking himself up - I usually just swaddle the top of his body tightly and then leave his legs free to move.
We don't really have room for a separate changing table, so we re-used this old set of drawers from IKEA and put a changing mat on top. It's right next to the window, so Jacob can roll outside and tumble down into the garden whenever he feels like it. Nope, just kidding of course. To be honest, I usually just end up putting the mat on the floor as the drawers aren't quite tall enough and it usually hurts my back to stand bent over like that. Also, while Jacob hasn't yet managed to roll over, I am sure he will at some point and it just feels safer on the floor.
The drawers are now used to house his diapers (we use these) and all of his adorable little clothes (OMG nobody warned me I would get SO obsessed with baby clothes), that I organized by kind and size. I used washi tape to label the sections, so I can easily rotate out stuff that is too small (which is everything, all the time) and switch things up. Now, if you're thinking "a) that baby only seems to wear three colors, and b) those drawers look like she Marie-Kondo'ed the shit out of them" - you would be absolutely right my friend. Let us all be glad this isn't the fifties and I wasn't destined to be a housewife, because I would be annoying as fudge.
The bear bum pants are from M&S and the grey muslin cloth is from my favorite Dutch store HEMA (as are many of his clothes). Finally, not pictured here because the sun was really bright this morning (yes, really) - I hung some colorful pompoms above the changing mat for Jacob to look at while I torture him with wet wipes (he especially loves it when I try to clean the dried up milk from under his quadruple chin).
Hope you enjoyed that little tour - next time I'll do a little overview of my diaper bag and other out-and-about with baby essentials! (I am not even kidding, I am that mom now. Seriously who even am I? Was this person inside me all this time?)
We're slowly getting into the swing of things here at Maison Floor.
I know that now that I have written this, Jacob will probably wake up every hour tonight. Possibly it's the 5,5 hours of consecutive sleep last night that is making me overoptimistic, but it feels like we have something resembling a life these days. Of course, every time I think that, Jacob throws us a curveball and [stops sleeping/suddenly sleeps all the time/is hungry all day/doesn't seem hungry at all/fusses all day/learns a new skill], but overall I'm just loving being a mommy right now (even as the current political climate continues to upset me).
It is truly amazing how something so special, the miracle of having a baby and loving it so much you could burst, is so mundane at the same time. We are all here. Every one of us was once this same miracle and hopefully loved as much by their parents or caregivers.
Anyways, before I go even softer on you - here's last month's journal pages. We took a little trip to Holland in our car (! we're such grownups!) to see the family, which I found a little stressful (Will he sleep? Will he eat? Won't people judge me for how I feed/dress/handle him?), but went well overall. Enjoy!
There's a show people kept recommending to me before we had Jacob, called 'The Longest Shortest Time'. Besides it indeed being a great podcast for parents, the title is also very apt - especially of those first days, weeks, and months with a newborn.
With a small baby, somehow you're incredibly busy all day keeping this little being alive and well (take a pick between breakfast or showering before noon, you can't have both even though you've been up since 6 am), yet you do 'nothing' for long stretches of time as well. Whole chunks of the night, staring in silence at your baby's suckling lips, his fat little face, eyes closed. The endless rocking, and patting on the back to get him to burp (victory!). The many diapers you change and how you actually become incredibly interested in its contents (apologies for judging you before, friends with kids). Days and nights seem to linger on and on, and sleep often far away, yet somehow then he's a month older and has gained 2 kilos. It's strange, absolutely beautiful, and utterly exhausting, these early days. Below some journal pages on our little man's birth and the first weeks afterwards. Just a few drawings, but I'm proud to have managed to do them at least.
Jacob was born by 'elective' caesarian (backstory here) and although some women who have gone through this seem to feel like they 'failed' in some way, I honestly thought it was a wonderful experience. Having been in and out of the hospital often as a child, I don't have a dislike for hospitals or even surgery, and the whole affair was quite chilled. I walked into 'theatre', got a spinal block set up (meh), lied down while waiting for the numbness to set in, and not ten minutes later I was handed my beautiful baby boy. The doctors and nurses were nice and professional, I was comfortable throughout the procedure and afterwards, and was I able to go home swiftly and without complications. I do wish I had had at least one contraction (just out of curiosity), and I definitely hope to have our next child the 'natural' way (mostly for their sake!), but above all it was still the most wonderful day of my life despite it not being how we had originally envisoned it. I feel incredibly grateful for being able to meet our healthy baby boy in such a calm setting (they even played music!) and not bleeding to death (you know). Yay, modern medicine!
