Journal Pages: The Final Days of Pregnancy

Friends who had been pregnant before had told me that by the end, they 'could not wait' to go on maternity leave. That it felt like they'd been pregnant forever, and that this baby was simply never going to come out.

I won't lie and say I wasn't over it by the end. My ribs were hurting, I couldn't sleep at all, but most importantly: I couldn't wait to finally meet our little man. The whole point of becoming pregnant, after all, was so we would have a baby, and I felt like I'd waited long enough. 

Going on maternity leave, however, was kind of strange for me. I don't think I've ever been away from anything for this long (I'm very fortunate my employer gives me six months fully paid). Summer holidays in college were pretty long (like three months?) and by the end I was itching to get back to it. I also absolutely LOVE my job. It's challenging, interesting, and my colleagues not just feel like but are my actual friends. Would I not go mad just sitting at home?

It turned out not to be too bad. I made sure I got out every day, and mentally and physically prepared for our baby's birth. Very necessary, as things did not go according to our lovely well-thought out birth plan (of course). Our boy decided to do a somersault at 37 weeks and sit upright like a little Buddha.

Breech babies usually do not make for lovely natural water births (in most cases, I hear it does happen), and after a painful and unsuccessful attempt to turn him (an 'external cyphalic version', or ecv) we were offered a choice: plan in an elective caesarian or find a doctor willing to have you try it the 'natural' way, most likely to still end in an emergency caesarian. I know there's people who have done this (or have managed to push breech babies out the 'natural' way) and I have DEEP respect for their courage and strength, but that wasn't me. And so we left the hospital with a date for our son's birth - the Friday after. 

Those last days were strange, and I spent the days preparing myself mentally and physically. I set up the baby's room, went out for coffee, removed all traces of cosmetics and jewelry (which required a trip to the piercing studio), read up on c-sections, and planned my last meal before the big day. I don't know if I felt 'ready' (or if you ever truly can be ready), but I did feel calm and mostly excited. Bring on that baby!