I’ve been thinking about this ever since seeing this exhibit (which was the ‘Women’s Palette 1900-1950’ in De Kunsthal, Rotterdam).

Now, none of this was ‘news’ to me. Of course I know women are underrepresented in art and museums. And of course I’m well aware that so so many groups in society experience being excluded and not being represented well enough in many and more important areas of society. I know all this (and probably don’t know half of it, still).

But I guess it took tearing up at the sight of these women, professional artists, depicted in their studios, to realize that I too had fitted myself into a box I didn’t know was placed inside me. I honestly think, had I seen this exhibit as a little girl, my life may have gone differently. And I don’t even remember making this choice or ever verbalizing it.

I guess that’s the lesson I’ve learned: you can try to be aware of privilege or the patriarchal system all you want - it’s even more deeply ingrained than you think, and it’s causing us as a society to lose out on so much beauty.

As some of you may know, there was a time when our son Jacob battled a rare blood disease called autoimmune neutropenia. The two years during which he was ill were without a doubt the hardest of our lives. When he got better, all we wanted to do was forget all about it.

Luckily for me, the pandemic served as a helpful trigger for old traumatic memories to resurface. The flashbacks and panic left over from the years led me to try Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. Through questioning my own beliefs and anxieties while looking the waving fingers of my therapist, I found my way back.

I created a comic about my experiences for Drawing the Times, a graphic journalism platform. I’m incredibly proud of this piece, and the responses have been overwhelming. I dug deep for this story, and if it helps only one person to feel less alone, I’ve succeeded.